This post is in response to today’s Daily Post Prompt.
When I saw the subject of the prompt, my emotions rolled like thunder rolling through a long valley.
Since January 2015, I have lost six people from my life to the cold arms of death. With four of the six, I have unfinished moments and memories with, moments and memories I will never get to finish. Not only moments and memories but unfinished business as well.
Over the course of the last year and eight months, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world, a world that was hidden from me. Whether it was hidden intentionally or not, in some cases I don’t know. In others, well, I now know far more than I ever did, and this new knowledge is weighing heavy on my heart and soul.
Not only is it weighing heavily on me, it has done something I didn’t think was possible. I honestly thought that I had lost all ability to deeply care about someone or something, that my heart had hardened to the point of no return. I was wrong.
I feel betrayed, lied to, lost, unimportant to people that I thought I was important to. I honestly thought I meant something to these people, but it appears I was sheltered in my own naivety and refused to see the truth that was in front of me.
Now? Well, now I’m just tired. My soul is tired. I have grieved until I’m not sure if I can grieve anymore. I no longer care about things that used to be important to me. I only wonder how long it will be until I can no longer care about anything.
Do I want your pity? No. Am I searching for attention? No. I am doing the only thing I can do that keeps me on the sane side of life. I’m writing it out, letting my emotions flow from my heart and soul through my fingers, turning these emotions into words to share with the world.
Unfinished. Yes, that is exactly how I feel.