I Gotta Go WHERE!?

5-2-03-outhouse_5

Similar to ours

Oh my! How many times I heard that question when I was a young’un.

I have lot’s of kin folk up north, mainly in Illinois, some in Ohio, and a few in Maryland, and when they’d come to visit they would have to use an outhouse.

Now see, they wasn’t used to that, they was used to indoor bathrooms, especially my cousins that were my age or close to it. I always thought it was funny when it came time fer one of ’em to have to go.

I still don’t see what’s wrong with usin’ an outhouse, ‘specially ours. We had a nice, spacious outhouse, plenty of room to move around in and the hole was mighty deep. Why, the whole time I was growin’ up, we never had to move it once.

You might be askin’ yerself what difference space matters in an outhouse, ‘specially if ya ain’t never been in, much less used one.

Well, now I’ve been in some mighty tiny outhouses before and they just feel cramped, uncomfortable like. Not to mention that the spiders and such was much closer to you, and I may be a hillbilly and all, but I don’t like spiders, at all.

In ours, you had room to just spread out, lean back and get real comfortable, and ya didn’t have to worry about no peepin’ Tom’s neither, we had all the cracks filled up, ‘cept the one where the hinges for the door was, but you could plainly see anybody that might be tryin’ to take a peek or make a funny on ya.

We even had a toilet paper holder. Yes sir, wasn’t no layin’ that roll on the bench and takin’ a chance a spider or two would crawl on up in the hole. That’d be terrible, go to grab a roll of paper with yer fingers stuck up in that roll hole and get bit by a spider. Why, that’d be plumb embarrasin’.

Our outhouse was special too, because it had a real toilet seat on it, and yes, if us menfolk didn’t put the seat back down, we’d get fussed at, just like today. Only thing was, the hole in the bench was a might bit bigger than the one on a commode, so a female had a better chance of fallin’ on through if the seat was up and it was dark and all. Us menfolk was mighty careful about that seat.

Durin’ the hot summer months that ‘ole outhouse stunk somethin’ fierce, and it the winter that seat got mighty cold. Manys the time I just left that door open in the summer, ‘specially at night, let that cooler night air waft in. Durin’ the winter a body would make a real quick trip, even for number two. Ya just didn’t waste no time and dilly dally around.

Sometimes I miss that ‘ole outhouse, or maybe it’s not the outhouse, but the simpler times of those bygone days.

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4 thoughts on “I Gotta Go WHERE!?

  1. jpeters6248

    When I was a kid, I lived in Australia and in one of the many houses we lived in we had an outhouse. It was quite far from the house so it was super scary to go to at night. Behind our house, there was a small swamp and local park next door to us. Because of the swamp, there were all kinds of insects (I agree with you big time on spiders), but we often also had these big toads in the outhouse too that I would either miss an almost step on or I wouldn’t see them at all, but they would croak and scare me half to death. Just thinking about them all gives me the creepy crawlies. Luckily most of the time, my sister and I would go at out there together. I don’t miss it, but I get what you mean about missing a more simpler time.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Tim Taylor Post author

      I didn’t have anybody to go with me but it wasn’t too far from the back door of the house, so it wasn’t too bad, unless I had the “Back Door Trots” in the middle of the night. Don’t matter how close it was to the house at 2 in the morning on a moonless night lol

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Holly

    I remember when I was still married to someone from your side of the state that the state was just finishing getting running water to all households there (one way or another). Now, whether they still have it or not, different story…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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