Sh!t People Probably Don’t Wanna Know About Me

This post is in response to a post on A Mommas View.

2013 September 11 - 11.03.01.804

  1. Boxer shorts or budgee smugglers? Budgee Smugglers? Um, neither 90% of the time.
  2. What color of underwear are you currently wearing? I’m in that 90% of the time now.
  3. How long have you been wearing them for already? Well, since I was born is the best I can come up with.
  4. Do you ever use binoculars to watch people? Nope, I use my telescope. It gets much better range.
  5. Have you ever kicked someone in the groin? Of course, hasn’t everybody?
  6. Would you pull a trigger? Depends on who’s in front of the gun.
  7. If you would meet your favorite celebrity and they would want to make out with you, would you? Nope, I don’t roll that way.
  8. Have you ever slept in a room and in the same bed with someone you were not in a relationship with (not talking about sex and having a one night stand)? I’m a hillbilly, that’s standard procedure.
  9. Have you had one-night-stands? Shamefully, yes, but the good news is they turned into one night lays …. :O Too much? hehehe
  10. Does sex have the same importance to you know compared to when you were younger? What a silly question to ask a man, once we figure out what sex is, it’s keeps the same importance ’till they put us in the dirt.
  11. Have you ever eaten a worm? Not on purpose.
  12. What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten? You mean besides the worm?
  13. How long do you spend sitting on the toilet? Depends on the length and amount of Snaps on Snapchat. Very entertaining actually.
  14. What do you do when you sit there (besides the obvious)? I don’t think you’re ready for that answer.
  15. Have you ever been peed at? Peed at and one time me and a bunch of friends were drunk and one of ’em peed on my foot.
  16. What’s the grossest thing you have ever swallowed? You mean, besides the worm?
  17. What’s the constantly dirtiest place in your home? My desk and not dirty, messy.
  18. Why don’t you clean it? I know where everything is. Sacred ground.
  19. Do you eat your boogers? Just ick!
  20. Can you describe the one smell that makes you gag? I can’t smell anything.
  21. Have you ever had head lice? Nope I couldn’t think of anything flippant to put on this one.
  22. Have you ever been utterly disappointed in someone? Oh yes. They still haven’t found ’em. Shhh!
  23. Have you ever been scared of someone? (Thanks, Linda, for the question) Me? Never! Hear me roar!
  24. What do you do and don’t want anyone to know when you are drunk? If I told you then everybody would know, then I wouldn’t have anything I didn’t want anyone to know. Duh!
  25. Have you tried pole dancing? Not yet. It’s on my bucket list though.
  26. Have you been in a strip club? I’m a man and a hillbilly, that right there is a dead giveaway.
  27. Have you run over an animal? Just the ones that didn’t quite manage to get outta my way.
  28. Have you ever peed in snow? I happen to be a fluent pee writer.
  29. Have you ever made fun of someone and then regret it? Once … I kept that black eye for days.
  30. What’s your favorite kind of question of Cards for Humanity (for those who know the game)? Never played it.
  31. If the father of your best friend would hit on you what would you tell him? Again, I don’t roll that way.
  32. Would you go out on a date with someone half your age or double your age? Definitely half my age. I’m not too sure a woman of 100 would be much fun.
  33. Do you clean the sink after brushing your teeth? Pshh!! …… Yes
  34. Have you ever spat in someone’s food or drink? Does that make me a bad person?
  35. Have you ever kissed someone only to be grossed out afterwards? Nope, not grossed out, completely disappointed would be a better term.
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