Supper And A Fading Memory

2015-03-13 17.08.42This evenin’ supper consisted of Gravy n Biscuits, Cubed Steak and sliced tomatoes. I was torn between makin’ that or fried ‘taters with the cubed steak. I dearly love both but I think I love the gravy just a little bit more. Everybody enjoyed it and that’s really all that matters.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this meal since I was little, especially if the cubed steak is breaded, which I almost always bread mine. I remember when I was just a little kid, every Saturday and Sunday mornin’ mom would always make a big breakfast ’cause my Uncle and Aunt didn’t have to work weekends and we would always have gravy n biscuits and some sort of meat. If it was durin’ hog killin’ time, we usually always had fresh pork, whether it be tender loin, bacon, ham or something else, it was all wonderful.

My favorite was, and still is, breakfast the day after Christmas and Thanksgivin’ dinner. There just ain’t nothin’ like that ham or turkey with gravy n biscuits. About the only thing that comes close is red grease or red eyed gravy as some folks call it, made from fresh smoked country ham that’s been fried up just right in a cast iron skillet. The only thing that would make that better would be if it were cooked on an old fashioned wood/coal stove. There’s just somethin’ about cookin’ on an old timey stove that just brings out the very best in food. If you’ve never had the opportunity to eat a meal made on one, you are definitely missin’ out.

The one thing that mom made for meat with breakfast that I refused to eat, was fried oysters. They smelled absolutely wonderful while she was fryin’ ‘em, but I just could not stomach the taste, texture or sight of ‘em. She would always make me somethin’ else ’cause she knew I wouldn’t touch the nasty things.

Luckily, I learned everything I know about cookin’ from mom, so most everything I make, she likes. My 5 year old son is a different story. He will usually eat a few bites of whatever I make but then he’s done with it, unless I make gravy n biscuits or fried ‘taters. He will eat till he almost gets sick when I make either one of those. Makes me proud, he’s a little hillbilly.

The sad part about supper today has to do with mom. As a lot of you already know, she has Vascular Dementia, and it is really effectin’ her memory. Unfortunately, this evenin’ while we were eatin’, it reared it’s ugly head once again. For a period of time, she has forgotten my 5 year old, her grandson. She is confused about him being here and wonders how long he has been with us.

I should clarify that. She hasn’t necessarily forgotten him, it’s more like she remembers her grandson but doesn’t recognize him as the little boy that is here with us now. Somehow she believes that he is Connors little brother, Connor doesn’t have a little brother, he has two older half brothers, my first son and his mothers first son. Mom hasn’t seen my first born in almost 4 years and she hasn’t seen Connor’s mothers first son in almost 3 years, so basically I have no idea who she is talkin’ about.

If you’ve never dealt with someone with Dementia, I’m here to tell you that it is definitely a challenge., especially when they say somethin’ that comes straight out of left field. Better yet, it’s when they look at you with confusion in their eyes and they ask you “Who are you?” That one’s a real heart breaker.

However, most of the time when mom comes out with somethin’ that she is rememberin’ from way back in the past but believes it’s actually happenin’ now I just kinda go along with her. It’s a waste of time to argue with her or try to convince her otherwise. So, I’m afraid that with this last development she’s in the process of receding  further into the past and it won’t be long until she is no longer with us here in the present, not in her mind anyway.

Such is my life, bad days sprinkled with a few good days in the mix, wonderin’ every night when I put her to bed if she’s gonna be the same person that wakes up in the mornin’.

Thanks for readin’.

Supper And A Fading Memory was originally published on The Hillbilly Blogger

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